


Love and Deep Dish Pizza

by punk_rock_yuppie



Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Banter, Blowjobs, Established Relationship, Humor, M/M, Mild Praise Kink, Oral Sex, Podfic Welcome, Roleplay, Shane "Big Dick" Madej, mild bondage
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-08
Updated: 2018-09-08
Packaged: 2019-07-08 10:40:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,374
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15928754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/punk_rock_yuppie/pseuds/punk_rock_yuppie
Summary: Ryan wants Shane to dress up as a pizza delivery guy. Don’t ask why, not even Ryan knows.Or, alternatively titled, 'Hot Buff Young Man Wants a Slice of Lanky Pizza Delivery Boy.'





	Love and Deep Dish Pizza

**Author's Note:**

> so anna hope wanted a pizza delivery fic roleplay w/ shyan, and i aim to please! this also fills the prompt 'bondage' for the shyan scavenger hunt! it's mild, but it's there. this is very silly, tbh. it was a lot of fun to write!
> 
> big thanks to hannah for beta'ing, as always! 
> 
> enjoy!

“ _What_ are you wearing?” Is the first thing out of Ryan’s mouth when he answers the door.

Shane sighs. His gaze drifts to the ceiling, and Ryan can see him mouthing words—like a prayer, if Shane were the type. In fact, Ryan is almost positive he hears _“god grant me the strength,”_ and Ryan can’t help but scoff.

“Dude,” Ryan says when Shane finally looks at him. “You look like a boy scout.”

“So I don’t have a pizza delivery boy costume immediately on hand. I had to make-do.”

Ryan looks his boyfriend up and down. “Khakis and a polo shirt, really?” His khaki pants are almost painfully plain; even though the green polo hugs him nicely, it still just a green polo. There’s not even some kind of logo on it, not a fashion icon or a haphazardly slapped on pizza slice. Ryan’s lips twist, and he knows he’s being overly critical.

Shane’s eyes narrow and Ryan holds up his hands in surrender.

“Let’s just,” he swallows, because he _does_ want this. “Let’s start over, okay?” Ryan asks in a softer voice. He even bats his eyes a bit, because he knows it gets to Shane, for some bizarre reason.

“Yeah, alright,” Shane says as he steps back. “C’mon.” He gestures for Ryan to shut the apartment door.

Ryan grins and practically slams the door in Shane’s face in his haste. He takes a few steps back, eyes never straying from the door, as he waits. He bites at his bottom lip as nerves and excitement start to fill him.

Then—

_Knock knock._

Ryan forces himself to walk calmly to the door and not bound over. He peers through the peephole, stifles another laugh at Shane’s appearance, and pulls open his front door. He flashes Shane a grin.

“Somebody order a pizza?” Shane says with a smile of his own. His tone is level but his eyes are glittering with mirth. It is pretty silly, Ryan can admit; he’s not even sure why this particular fantasy was so appealing to him. It just is, and he’s grateful Shane is giving it a shot.

“That’d be me,” Ryan confirms. His hands fall to his back pockets, or rather, the lack thereof. The almost obscenely small Adidas shorts he has on have no room for pockets. They’ve barely got room for _him_. “Oh, shit,” Ryan drawls out. “I don’t have any money.” Again, he bats his eyes and leans against the threshold of the door.

Shane’s lips twitch with a smile. Ryan knows what’s coming before Shane even opens his mouth.

“Why the _fuck_ did you order a pizza, then?” Shane asks as he turns away. He doesn’t get more than a step before he starts laughing, and it sets Ryan off.

Ryan reaches for him and pulls him closer by his elbow. “You’re such a dick,” he says affectionately. He tilts his head back and Shane obliges him with a kiss. “Third time’s the charm?”

Shane rolls his eyes but he hardly looks annoyed. He steals another kiss then nods. “Alright.” He steps back and gestures to the door again.

Ryan shuts it gentler this time. He backs away from the door yet again, and never looks away. He knows it’s coming, but that doesn’t stop his heart from hammering in his chest when Shane knocks again.

“Pizza for Bergara?” Shane asks, sounding bored, but still with a hint of a smile curling at his lips.

“That’s me,” Ryan says. He goes through the same routine of patting down his shorts, keenly aware of Shane’s eyes on him. “Oh, shit,” he mutters before rounding on Shane with his best, softest look. “Looks like I don’t have any money.”

“Really, now,” Shane drawls. He makes a show of looking Ryan up and down; he lingers on Ryan’s thighs, then on his exposed stomach before finally settling on Ryan’s face. They lock eyes for a moment and the tension is heavy.

Ryan nods and he wants to pout, wants to look _sultry_ , but all he can manage is a slightly reserved smile. “Maybe I can pay you back another way,” he purrs.

He can see Shane shifting through at least a dozen snarky responses. He can see the effort it takes not to say any of them. Ryan’s actually kind of proud when Shane’s stare darkens and his grin spreads to reveal his teeth.

“I think I might have an idea,” he says agreeably. He steps forward and Ryan counters with a step back. Shane keeps walking closer and kicks the front door shut behind him. He’s still got the pizza box in his hands, but he never falters as he herds Ryan into the kitchen. Ryan goes without a thought until his back hits the edge of the kitchen island and then Shane is pressed all along his front.

Ryan lets out a shuddering breath. He still doesn’t know _why_ this is hot, but it is, and he’s not about to complain.

Shane reaches around him to set the pizza box on the countertop. Then his hands find Ryan’s chiseled waist. “You always prance around your apartment looking like a slut?” Shane murmurs, nearly a growl. It’s such a line but it _works_.

Ryan inhales sharply. “Maybe,” he hisses. He can feel Shane’s erection pressing against his hip.

Shane smirks against his cheek and one of his hands dances across Ryan’s skin to toy with the hem of his shirt. “Big Lakers fan, huh?” He tugs at the bottom of the cropped Lakers jersey as if it’ll budge, as if it’ll do anything to cover more of Ryan’s torso.

Hint: it doesn’t.

The jersey is downright ridiculous; it strains over his biceps and pecs and if he stretches, it exposes his nipples. If he stretches _too_ much, he could probably tear the flimsy fabric. The thought almost makes him laugh until he’s distracted by Shane’s wandering touch. Shane’s hands dip under the hem and skirt over his chest, flicking at his pert nipples before drawing away.

Ryan arches against Shane and shivers when their cocks brush. His tiny little black shorts leave nothing to the imagination, and Shane’s own khaki pants aren’t exactly an impenetrable fortress. Ryan looks between them and bites his lip at the sight of Shane’s dick straining against the zipper.

When Ryan looks up again, Shane’s watching him with a smirk. He steps back with Ryan’s eyes on him and pulls at the green polo shirt he’s wearing. He tosses it aimlessly aside before stepping back into Ryan’s space.

“So,” Shane says, low and contemplative. “You really wanna pay me back for that pizza, huh?” He dips his head and his lips skirt over Ryan’s cheek.

“Yes,” Ryan moans softly. He loops his arms around Shane’s bare shoulders and pulls him closer. “What can I do?”

Shane hums. He doesn’t kiss Ryan, even as their lips nearly brush when Shane turns his head. There’s still a mischievous glint in Shane’s eye but it’s offset with the familiar heat. Ryan swallows as he waits for Shane to answer, all the while letting Shane’s hands roam over him along with his gaze.

Shane clears his throat awkwardly, but his words come out confident and strong. “You can start by sucking my cock.”

Ryan’s moan lodges in his throat. He hits the tiled kitchen floor like a fucking bomb went off and stares up at Shane. Shane looks surprised for a split second but quickly schools his expression into something else, something calmer. He takes a step back to give Ryan a little more room, then reaches for his belt.

The leather leaves the khaki belt loops with a soft hissing sound. Ryan expects Shane to toss it aside like he did with the polo, but instead, Shane speaks.

“Give me your hands.”

Ryan raises his hands slowly but obediently. Another shudder wracks his body when Shane holds his wrists together with one huge hand before looping the belt around the delicate skin. It’s a skinny belt, not the kind Shane usually wears, and it makes Ryan wonder if Shane planned this. If he meant to tie Ryan up all along.

The thought wrings a whimper from Ryan. Shane smirks.

The supple leather, or pleather, or whatever, bends to Shane’s will as he ties it around Ryan’s wrists.

“Test it,” Shane says as he lets go.

Ryan squirms and wriggles his arms. He could probably slip free if he really tried, but he’s not going to even try, so. He nods.

“Good.” Shane’s fingers curl in the belt and push Ryan’s arms over his head. Ryan bends his arms at the elbow and lets Shane press his hands into countertop of the island. With his free hand, Shane shoves his khakis down.

“And you called _me_ a slut,” Ryan retorts when he realizes Shane decided not to wear underwear.

Shane snorts. “Open up.”

Ryan obeys, eyes trained on Shane’s cock as he moves closer. With his arms bent the way they are, Ryan can’t meet Shane halfway, can barely lean in and sneak a lick before his mouth is being filled. Shane sinks in slowly; he feeds his cock between Ryan’s lips and when Ryan’s mouth hits his fingers, Shane shifts and grips Ryan by the hair instead.

Ryan moans, almost involuntarily, as Shane tugs at his hair. He’s held down at two points and completely at Shane’s mercy; his arms are aching a little bit, his jaw too, but he’s so hard he doesn’t even care. Ryan looks up as much as he can through watering eyes as Shane’s cock fills his mouth, as the head hits the back of his throat.

Shane’s cock isn’t exactly small, and Ryan can admit he’s more than a little obsessed with it. He’s girthy and wide, not so much it’s painful but to the point that Ryan can’t always take him all the way. More than anything he’s _long_ and Ryan lives for the feeling of taking Shane down to the hilt, either in his mouth or his ass. Ryan whines softly at the thought and he clenches his thighs together.

“That’s it,” Shane says softly. He tugs on Ryan’s hair again. “Look at you taking it all.” Shane moans quietly as he starts to withdraw before pushing in again.

Ryan lets his eyes flutter shut and lets his mouth relax. His hands flex under the grip of the belt and Shane’s hand but he doesn’t fight it. His hips roll for friction against nothing and keens around the girth of Shane’s dick. His eyes start to water as Shane’s pace picks up, leaving no time for Ryan to catch his breath.

Shane pulls out and lets the tip of his cock rest on Ryan’s bottom lip. He’s breathing heavy as he speaks. “This is better than pizza, isn’t it?”

Ryan freezes. He opens his eyes to find Shane looking down at him with wide eyes, like he _also_ can’t believe he just said that. “What the _fuck_ , Shane.”

Shane snorts. “It felt like we were losing the plot.”

“It’s supposed to be like a bad porno,” Ryan hisses. “There _isn’t_ a plot.”

Shane opens his mouth, probably to say something else that will drive Ryan up a wall, so Ryan takes initiative. He opens his mouth too and curls his lips around the head of Shane’s dick. He sucks, once, and preens when whatever Shane was about to say comes out as a garbled moan.

“Point taken,” Shane mutters. His hand in Ryan’s hair flexes. He starts to fuck into Ryan’s mouth again and Ryan relaxes into it once more.

He tilts his head back as Shane slides in and swallows around him; Shane gasps and Ryan relishes the sound. He wishes he could touch Shane—Ryan likes to hold Shane by the ass and force him to move faster, harder. But this is good, too. Ryan can’t touch or do anything other than _take it_. Drool is gathering at the corner of his mouth and dribbling down his chin. His arms are straining but the stretch only turns him on more.

“Fuck, Ryan, gonna come.” Shane leans over him; he still has one hand on Ryan’s wrists and the belt, the other is curled around the edge of the island. “You take it so good.”

Ryan moans and Shane’s hips stutter, fucking deeper into his throat. He pulls out almost all the way, until only the tip is leaking precome sluggishly against Ryan’s lips, and gives Ryan a chance to catch his breath. Shane stares down at him with pupils blown wide and his mouth hanging open. Ryan swallows and opens his mouth as wide as he can; he flicks his tongue out to swipe across the slit and Shane shudders.

Shane thrusts into Ryan’s mouth again suddenly and immediately his cock starts to pulse. Ryan moans, muffled, as Shane’s come fills his mouth. Shane rocks his hips forward again and pain blooms at the back of Ryan’s head as he hits the cabinet behind him. He moans again, the pain sending a thrill down his spine, and in turn Shane gasps.

Ryan struggles to breathe and stars dance behind his eyelids until Shane finally pulls back. He moves painfully slow and as his cock slips from Ryan’s mouth, a string of spit and come connects them. Ryan licks his lips as he swallows and the string breaks.

“God,” Shane sighs as he drops to his knees. He reaches for Ryan’s arms and Ryan loops them over Shane’s shoulders. Shane leans in and kisses the come off Ryan’s lips, licks into Ryan’s mouth, leaves them both panting for air when the kiss breaks. “You wanna come?”

Ryan keens and nods frantically. He kisses Shane again and again, a dozen little kisses, until Shane sits back on his haunches and grins at Ryan. Chest heaving, Ryan arches his back and tries to push his hips closer. His dick strains against his shorts harder than ever and Shane reaches between them to skirt his hand over Ryan’s cock.

Shane leans in and trails his lips along Ryan’s cheek until he hits his ear; he nibbles at the lobe before whispering—

“That’s gonna cost you extra.”


End file.
